Moon

Dearest Ryan,

I haven't written you a letter since your first birthday. This isn't going to be one of my typical letters (one of those will come when you turn 18 months, which is only a month away and I CANNOT believe it!) But tonight, something really adorable and special happened and I don't want to forget it.

You LOVE the moon. We read Goodnight Moon nearly every night (though some nights you opt for "Curious George's Goodnight Book" instead, and that is no where near as special!) and you have noticed the moon in the sky since you were very small. Since you are usually in bed before the moon is out, it is on those rare occasions when the moon can be seen during the day or early in the evening that you see it, point to it, and say with great excitement, "MOOOOOOOON!!!" It's really quite adorable.

Well, tonight you saw the moon and you said, "Touch?" and I said, "I think it's too far away, Buddy. I don't think you can touch it, but you can try." You said, "Yeeeeahhhh! TOUCH!" And off you went to try and touch the moon. You marched up the sidewalk with great determination until you got to a point where the house across the way blocked your view. You then turned to me and said, "Uh oh! Moooooon????" You turned around and started to walk back towards our house, but turned back around to check one more time on your beloved moon. You had walked far enough towards our house that you could see the moon again, and you immediately turned around, and off you headed, again, to touch it.

This scene repeated itself 3 or 4 times until you finally looked at me and Daddy and said, "Mooooon? Touch??" with your head tilted to the side. Daddy said, "Its really far away, you can't touch it, can you?" And you looked sad, and headed back home. But not without looking back again to see the moon. You saw it, pointed, and said, as if it was your first time seeing it tonight, "MOOOOOOOOONNN!!!!"

Ryan, I hope you always reach for the moon. You may not touch it (though, let's be honest, you might one day with the way space travel is developing!) but never, ever stop trying. I hope you always remain determined, and enthusiastic, and utterly delighted at the most simple things in this world. You are such a joyful boy, and I hope you stay that way for a VERY LONG TIME!

Love always,

Mama

Reflections on 30

Last Wednesday (June 1st) I turned 30 years old. I had a wonderful birthday with Matt and Ryan. But other than a few jokes from extended family members and friends about "getting old" it truly was just another birthday. But, it did cause me to pause and reflect a bit on life. I found myself feeling very fortunate.

I have an amazing family. My husband is my best friend, my true partner, and the man with whom I know (without a doubt) I am supposed to spend my life. I have a beautiful, happy, healthy little boy who is the light of my life. My parents are amazing. My brothers are two of my best friends, as are my Sisters-in-law. I have wonderful friends and extended family members. All of these people make my life rich, and full, and meaningful.

I have also been fortunate to have found a career about which I am passionate. I love what I do. Seeing as being a mom is my current priority, I don't do it as much as I used to, but when I am at work (every Friday) I am very, very happy. I am so lucky to have found my "calling" so early in life. I began working on my MSW when I was 21 years old (a Junior in college) and I have never looked back. I know with certainty, that other than being a mom and a wife, I was put on this earth to be a Pediatric Medical Social Worker: to be a support to some very special children and their families. I know how lucky I am.

This isn't to say that my life has always been perfect. Recently some people very close to me have had some major medical scares. Fortunately they are doing well now. But even in those horrible, scary moments I was lucky to have the family, friends, and colleagues that I have to support me and my family.

Looking back on the past 30 years I am an extremely grateful woman. As a younger woman I never set forth on a particular prescription for what I would do/be/have by the time I was 30. But if I had, I have a feeling it would have looked a lot like the life I am living now.

Here's to the next 30, 60, and however many more, years ahead: May they be as wonderful as the last 30.

Humility.....

Yes, its true. Before I had a child of mine own I would often find myself passing judgement on parents whose children didn't sleep well. Yes, I would think things like, "When we have a baby I'm going to do X so that my baby will sleep!" or "I won't have a 12 month old who doesn't sleep!" I didn't say these things out loud, but I definitely thought them.

And then, then I had Ryan. And while Ryan is many amazing and wonderful things, and awesome sleeper he is not! But early on, even before it became painfully obvious that he was a challenging sleeper (the boy didn't truly sleep through the night until he was 14 months old!) I realized a few key things. Namely, some parents are lucky and they are given the gift of a naturally awesome sleeper. Other parents, well, they're not so lucky and their kids are not and may never be great sleepers. Ryan seems to fall somewhere in the middle as he is now a pretty consistent and solid sleeper (unless he is sick, as he is now). But regardless of how Ryan sleeps I can say that I will never again pass judgement on a parent for how their child sleeps and I feel that I learned this very early on in my parenting experience. Giving birth to a not so great sleeper is a humbling experience indeed!

Recently, someone in my life had a child. We'll call the person Maggie and the child Bob. Well, Maggie has not yet learned the quality of humility. She is one of "the lucky ones" as Bob seems to have come out a good sleeper. At least he is so far (he's only 3 months old!). And let me tell you, Maggie will be sure to tell me that Bob is a GREAT sleeper and Ryan is not. THIS DRIVES ME UP A WALL! Can we all agree that at barely 3 months we can say a few things: 1) Bob could easily change his sleeping patterns and become a crappy sleeper. 2) At such a young age it is highly likely that Bob's propensity for sleep does not have a darn thing to do with anything that Maggie or her husband have done or not done, and that rather, Bob just likes to sleep.

Until Maggie made it a point to openly berate Ryan's sleeping pattern and applaud Bob's I can say that I was happy for her that she has a "sleeper." Now, yes, I am spiteful. I hope he stops sleeping through the night very soon and never does it again until he's 2. Am I wrong? ;)

You know your "baby" is growing up when....

Yes, indeed. We've had quite a few clear signs around here lately that Ryan is growing up...and fast. But one of the clearest just happened this week.

Ryan will often follow me to the bathroom. He likes to shut the door with me on the inside and him on the outside. Until recently when he would do this he would laugh at first but then start to cry until I opened it again. Well, this has changed.  Now, he shuts the door with gusto which is quickly followed by the pitter patter of his little feet running away. He is no longer thinking, "Where did Mommy go? I want Mommy!" No, now he is thinking, "Yes! Now I can get into all the things Mommy won't let me get into! YAY!"