Content

Recently, I have had the feeling that my life is as it should be right now and that it can't really get any better. I am a mom and a wife and those are my priorities and that's the way it should be.

Prior to ever being pregnant, or even married, I was often found telling people "I was put on this earth to be a mom." And yet, there were moments in my earliest weeks of motherhood when I doubted this. Moments when I thought my "calling" in life wasn't my calling. I was scared in those moments. Worried that life wouldn't be as I had expected it to be. But now, as Ryan is nearly 10 months old and he is developing into such an amazing little person, and I can see every day how Matt and I are helping to make him that little person, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I was indeed put on this earth to be a mom...to be Ryan's mom. And truly, I couldn't be happier.

This isn't to say that there aren't tough, challenging moments. There definitely are. He still isn't a great sleeper (and no, I am not going to put in writing whether or not he has made any progress in that area lately, because if I do, any hypothetical progress would certainly be lost) and those middle of the night wake-up calls are rough. At times the unpredictability of babyhood can be tough. Just this past Saturday Ryan didn't take his usual long naps, and thus messed up the "schedule" we had planned for the day. This frustrated both Matt and me and made us short with each other. Last night, Ryan was very grumpy (who knows why) and thus our usual relatively calm sit-down-as-a-family dinner was chaotic and filled with whining about anything and everything. Parenting isn't predictable, it isn't always easy, but it is what I am supposed to be doing in life right now. And I know that with a level of certainty that is only rivaled by the certainty I felt the day I married Matt.

Ryan is my son, and the joy that I feel in watching the loving, joyful, pleasant, gentle (most of the time), funny, and friendly little boy he is becoming is beyond description. I love watching his explore and discover the world. I look at him with such pride. My heart swells daily. More often I find myself simply enjoying the moment more than I ever have before. I don't see myself looking down the road saying, "What's next?" as often. This is my life. It is how it is supposed to be. I am content.

9 Months

Dear Ryan,


You are now 9 months old! 9 months ago I met you for the first time, and that was indeed the most amazing day of my life!! In that time you have grown in so many ways. You are such a fun, happy, social, loud, and pleasant little boy. Your little personality is shining through in such fun new ways these days and for your 9 month letter I want to share with you what I hope will never change about you.

Ryan, you are such a confident little guy these days. You crawl around like you own the place, you stand without holding on to anything (you seem to be getting so close to walking), and you "talk" with great conviction. While I certainly hope you don't spend your life on all fours, and I hope you get to the point where simply standing is not a feat worth a round of applause, and I of course hope you one day talk eloquently, I also hope your confidence never waivers. Always take pride in even your small achievements. I don't want you to be arrogant or boastful, but you should always be proud of who you are and what you do. You are a special little boy who I have no doubt will one day be an amazing man. Likewise, never be afraid to speak up and out....against injustice, for the underdog, or for a cause in which you believe strongly.

You are also such a friendly little boy. You smile, laugh and giggle freely. You wave hello and goodbye and flash a coy smile even to strangers. You clap for others openly. Don't ever lose this tendency to be friendly and kind to all you meet. Never be afraid to smile at a stranger, you never know, it might make their day! Always continue to celebrate the people in your life. Share in their successes, and yes, give them a round of applause when they deserve it!

You are also a silly little boy. You laugh at zerberts on your belly and when being tickled. You love peek-a-boo. You enjoy watching the Muppets with Daddy. You belly laugh whenever Mommy or Daddy bounce up and down. You find humor and joy in so many things. Please, do not ever lose this tendency to laugh freely and openly. Find joy in your life every day, even on the hard days.

Ryan, last but not least, never, never, never, stop being yourself. While I know the world will impact you, and mold you, and affect you, I truly hope that you will always be true to yourself. I can't wait to watch you grow and develop and become the amazing boy, teenager, and man that I know you will become. I am so proud to be your Mommy! I love you so much!

Happy 9 Month Birthday!

Love,


~Mommy

M.I.A

This is simply a message to let you know that I am in fact still here. I guess this month has been busier than I realized! I haven't posted since Ryan's 8 month update and now it is almost time for his 9 month update! Well, that update will be coming soon. And after that, I am making a commitment to blog at least once a week.....Maybe if I had more commenters (ergo, I would actually know if people are reading) I would feel more pressure motivation to write! ;) (hint, hint!)

8 Months

Dearest Ryan,

Today you turned 8 months old! You continue to be such a happy little guy and Daddy and I love you so much! You're growing up before our eyes and mastering all the "tricks" you learned to do last month. You crawl faster, you stand more easily, you feed yourself like you've been doing it your whole life, and you babble constantly! You now say Mama & Dada and it is clear you know what you're saying. It melts my heart every time you say "Mama Mama!!" You interact and play with toys more and more. You try to put the right shapes in the correct holes on your shape sorter, you take your animals in and out of the Ark, and you snuggle stuffed animals. It is so much fun to play with you!

This past month was a month filled with new and exciting experiences/changes. Perhaps the biggest change is that I started watching your two cousins Julia and Caitlin 4 days a week and working one day a week at "Dr. Bob's Place." You are adjusting very well, but it is very hard work! Nana is helping me A LOT and I am very nervous about the days when she doesn't help (which will be soon, since Nana has to have a surgery). Most of the day it will be OK, but feeding time and nap time will be a challenge. But, I know we'll figure it out and you and Julia will be OK. You may cry more than you do now (as you'll be learning to wait your turn) but that will be a good life lesson.

You also did a lot of other new things this month. You went to the beach for the first time, and you had a blast! (See previous post I wrote about our trip to the beach).

We also went to the State Fair with Grandma, Grandpa, Great-Grandma, & Great-Grandpa. You went on a Merry-Go-Round (you didn't seem to love it, but you didn't hate it either), you won a GIANT puppy dog just for being cute, and you got to pet a baby goat which made you giggle. It seems you love animals!

Because you seemed to like the animals so much we decided to take you to Clark's Elioak Farm where you got to pet goats, a donkey, a horse, chickens, bunnies, and pigs. Pop-pop went with us and we all had a blast! It is so much fun watching you explore the world! You are so curious! You love to experience new things which makes doing new things with you so much fun! Daddy and I cannot wait to take you on even more outings as you get older!

In accordance with all previous updates, I have to at least mention your sleeping. But that is all I am going to do. Let's just say that your sleep habits leave much to be desired lately....but we're blaming this on teething (your top two teeth are coming in) and this has made you somewhat miserable at times. We love you to pieces, but we don't enjoy seeing you at midnight, 2:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m., AND 6:00 a.m. when you wake for the day. Let's get back to the one time a night wake up schedule, OK? Or, even better yet, how about you actually sleep through the night!?!?! There's a novel idea!

But truly, Ryan, aside from you're sleeping, you are a joy! Daddy and I love you to pieces and we are so glad that you're a part of our lives. We were meant to be your Mommy & Daddy, and you were meant to be our son. I'll love you always and forever, no matter what!


Love always,


~Mommy