A Changing Role...

Dearest Ryan,

I know it is not yet your "Month-day," and thus time for my monthly letter to you. But something important has happened lately, and I want to tell you about it now. (Also, writing this in the form of a letter to you is probably the most politically correct way to do it, so that Mommy doesn't get herself in trouble!)

After you were born, I started to think about what I would do about going back to work. I knew that I loved my job, the work I did, the children and families I worked with. However, I also knew that you had taken up residence in my heart in a way I never knew possible, and thus, I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. Daddy and I talked a lot about what would be best for all of us, and we decided that going back to work part-time would be best.

I informed the people I work with about I wanted to do. The people Mommy worked with in the Cardiology department were very supportive and believed strongly that something could be worked out so that I could work part-time (3 days a week). However, sadly, Mommy's "other boss" in another department feels strongly that part-time positions don't work, and she put up a brick wall that made it impossible for Mommy to work part-time for the Heart Institute. (That is all Mommy is going to say about that, even though she really has a lot more to say!)

So, since I couldn't go back to work part-time, I resigned. I am now going to be the "Nanny" for your two cousins Julia and Caitlin. This means that I will get to be with you every day. It means you will get to spend a lot of time with your cousins and build a special relationship with them. And while I am a little sad to leave my job, my colleagues, the patients, and families, I am also relieved to know that I will be able to spend so much time with you.

I love you so very, very much Ryan. My most important job right now, and for the rest of my life is as your Mom. I know that one day I will return to "work." But for now, I am going to be right where I belong: with you.

I love you so much!

~Mommy

Napping Bootcamp

Today, I officially decided that Ryan will take all (or at least almost all) his naps in his crib. Until now he has occaisionally napped on me, sometimes in the pack N play which is still downstairs, and often in his car seat if we have gone out on an errand. He falls asleep so easily in the car seat, and when we get home, I usually leave him there (I will probably still do this, but I will also try to limit going out when he should be napping. I know, the sleep experts say I should never do this...but, oh well!).

He rarely naps in his crib. Although he falls asleep in there just fine at night, he has always had a hard time staying asleep in his drib during the day. And until now, I haven't fought it because I know he is a miserable boy when he doesn't get his naps, so I figured it was just important that he get sleep, no matter where. Well, I've changed my mind! I need to reclaim my first floor for a period of time during the day so that I can straighten up, eat lunch, etc, and not worry that I will wake up Ryan. So, I officially started Nap Bootcamp today!

The first round, was not so good. I noticed a yawn and an eye rub at around 11:00 (he slept later than normal this morning, not waking for the day until 9:00) and so we headed to his room. I fed him, changed his diaper, turned on his "going to sleep music" and the cycle began. He would get drowsy, I would lay him in his crib, he would scream, I would pick him up, calm him down, and lay him back down. We did this over, and over, and over, about 10 times until finally at 1:00 he fell asleep in the crib. He only stayed asleep for 22 minutes.

The second round was MUCH better. We only did the above described cycle twice. He fell asleep at 2:30, and now, at 3:10, he is still alseep (although I am starting to hear him move around up there...but he may not be awake yet.) If you ask me, this is tremendous progress in just two rounds. Let's hope it just keeps getting better from here!

3 Months

Dearest Ryan,

Today you turned 3 months old. You have grown so much and you can do so many more things since I last sat down to write one of these letters.

You smile more and more every day. Your coos and giggles are more varied in their sound. You still try to mimic sounds and facial movements. You try so hard to do this, but you're not quite there. You do consistently stick your tongue out though if someone sticks it out at you :) You can pick up toys that are lying in your lap and you bring them to your mouth. You drool CONSTANTLY! You can now roll from your belly to your back AND from your back to your belly. It’s always funny when you end up on your belly, because you don't like that and then you start to fuss until you roll back the other way.

You love to be held up so you can "walk." You're getting better and better at this and it is so cute to watch. Your legs are so strong that you can even play in your excersaucer (with close supervision, of course!) which makes you laugh and coo a LOT. Your favorite toy is the spinning rattle with the fish in it. The first time you made it turn it scared you. But now you're used to it and you get so excited when you hear the rattle, rattle, rattle, as it spins.

You're still not the greatest sleeper, but you are improving. You now consistently give us two 4 hour stretches, and occasionally a 5 or 6 hour stretch. Daddy and I would love it if you would keep those 6 hour stretches coming! When you do wake up, you're almost never up for more than 15 minutes, and Mommy is very grateful for this! You wake up in the morning at around 7:00. You usually play in your crib a bit, talking and cooing to yourself, until you finally start yelling for me to come in and get you. Whenever I walk in you always have the BIGGEST smile on your face. It's as if you're saying, "You're finally here! I missed you!" It’s one of my favorite parts of the day!

Mommy is going to have to go back to work in less than a month now. But we're not going to talk about that right now, because it brings tears to Mommy's eyes just typing the words. Mommy loves her job, but she loves being home with you and can't imagine leaving you. But I know that you'll be in wonderful hands with Nana!

Well, Sweet Boy, it’s hard to believe you've already been here for three months. My, how life has been changed and enriched! I can't to wait to watch you grow and develop even more. I love you sooooooooooo much!

~Mommy