The Night Before Kindergarten

Below is a letter I wrote to Ryan and read aloud to him the night before his first day of Kindergarten:

August 26, 2015

My Dearest Ryan,

Tomorrow you will start Kindergarten. What adventures await you! You will learn new things, and meet new people.  Who knows, you may even meet someone who will be your friend for the rest of your life?! You will have so many new experiences. You’ll learn new games, new songs, new facts, and new skills. You will probably feel new feelings, too! School is a wondrous place. The possibilities of what you can do, achieve, learn, or change are endless. We can’t wait to watch the possibilities unfold.

But Ryan, I want you to know that there is nothing in this world that Daddy and I want more for you than to view school as an opportunity to grow as a person and to practice being kind and brave. I’ve told you before, we don’t care if you’re the smartest, or the fastest, or the best artist. But we care that you are the best YOU that you can be. Try your best, work hard, have fun, and be good. We know you are amazing. Now is your chance to show the rest of the world!

Part of being the best YOU possible is learning to be kind. Go through your day with your eyes wide open. Keep an eye out for the kid who is extra shy, scared, or lonely. Try to help them be a little less scared and a little less lonely. Say hello. Ask him to play. Smile at her. Offer to share your snack…yes, even if the snack is your most favorite snack in all the world and you wish that I had packed more of it for you. Being kind isn’t always easy. But, it’s always right. And sometimes doing the right thing means you have to be brave.

Sometimes it will be hard to do the right thing, the kind thing. Sometimes you’ll worry about what to say, or how to help. But dig deep in that big heart of yours. You are naturally caring. You instinctively know how to make people feel better. Trust those instincts. You’ll be amazed at how much of a difference you can make!

There may be times when you see one student being mean or unkind to another student. These are the times that really require bravery. Don’t stand back. Don’t let that child who is being unkind think that it’s ok. Show him or her that being kind is the best way to be, and that doing otherwise will not win him or her any points or any friends. Show them what being kind looks like by standing up to them confidently. And if doing this seems too hard, or too scary, because sometimes it might, then tell a teacher or grown-up what happened so they can help.

Ryan, there is nothing you can or can’t do at school that will make Daddy and I love you any more than we already do. We already love you as much as we ever could or ever will. And that is a WHOOOOLLLEEEEE LOT! There is nothing you can do to make us love you any less. We love you because you’re you, because you’re ours, and you always will be. We hope that all the love we have for you will help you be able to show that love to the other kids you will meet at school.

Ryan, we want you to love school. We want you to have fun. We want you to explore, learn, create, run, play, ask questions, and have new adventures every day. But most of all, we want you to grow into the amazingly kind, caring, and thoughtful little boy that we already see glimpses of every day.

Have a blast at school sweet boy! We can’t wait to hear all about it! I love you so, so, soooooo much! I love you to Pluto and beyond!

Love always,

Mama 

The First of Many Graduations

Dear Ryan,

About 2 weeks ago you graduated from Preschool, Crofton Nursery School (CNS) to be exact. It was a wonderful little school with lots of parent involvement, and Daddy and I got to watch you blossom from a little boy who cried every day for the first three weeks of school during your "3s" year to a boy who bounded out of the car with such excitement each day of your "4s" year that you often forgot to toss a hurried "I love you, too!" my way as you headed out of the car and into your beloved school.

CNS was a place where you learned to love school. And that is all I wanted from your preschool experience. Yes, you made friends, and grew to understand the "social norms" of a classroom setting, and you learned about numbers, and bugs, and letters, and colors, and patterns, and experimenting, and fun. But mostly, you just loved going there, and that's all that mattered to me.

At your preschool graduation I saw so many moms who were teary, and emotional, and a little sad to see their sweet babies growing up. And I  totally get that. Really, I do. I look back at your newborn pictures and wonder where the heck the past 5 years have gone. But most of all, as I sat at your preschool graduation, watching you sing songs with enthusiasm, watching you do all the hand motions with precision, and watching you wink at me occasionally when you knew you were singing one of my favorite songs, the thing I was most thinking about is how every excited I am for you. This was just your first school experience...The first of many graduations to come. So much more lies ahead of you. I know you will thrive in school. You are inquisitive, eager, excited, determined, and kind. Every time I read a non-fiction book with you, either about trains, or trucks, or most recently about volcanoes I just love how you absorb every detail of information. You take it in. You swish it around in your brain for a bit, and then a few minutes, hours, or days later you come back with wonderful questions that show how you've assimilated all the information and are working to make even more sense of it all.

And so, instead of being sad that you're growing up (though, I'm not gonna lie, I still can't believe you're such a boy and not a baby anymore) I am just so thrilled that you are coming up on a point in your life where you will really take off, and develop new interests, and learn new skills, and explore talents you didn't even know you had. You're gonna do great, sweet boy. Kindergarten is going to be amazing!

Until then, let's enjoy this summer and soak in as much fun as we can. Because while I am soooo excited for you to begin "big kid" school, I can NOT believe that in a few short months you will spend the majority of every day not with me. I'm going to miss you! But I will so look forward to your stories when you come home (because really, you better not pull that whole "How was your day? Good. What did you do? Nothing. BS that I (and every other kid ever) has pulled on their parents. I want details, little man. I want to hear all about the new worlds opening up to you! You'll be the pilot, please take me along for the ride!

I love you, more than you'll ever know!

Always,

Mama

Ryan James: 5 years

My Dearest Ryan,

Today you turned 5 years old. Before writing this letter I went back and watched some of the videos from the first days after you were born. Watching those, raw, new moments, I can feel the emotion of those days all over again. The elation, exhaustion, and overwhelming realization that we were now wholly responsible for a living, breathing, BEAUTIFUL little person. I remember the pride I felt in being able to call you "my son." I remember finally realizing what Elizabeth Stone meant when she said, "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." Momentous it was indeed. 

Ryan, my how you have blossomed in the past 5 years. You have grown from a wriggly, tiny little baby to a joyful, compassionate, sensitive, kind, caring, smart, curious, snugly, enthusiastic, thoughtful, and fun boy. A boy!! While you will always be my baby, you are no longer a baby. You are a boy in every sense of the word. From the way you seem to constantly be in motion, to your love of all things trains and rockets. To the way you just adore your Daddy to how you still delight in nightly stories, snuggles, and songs. You are an amazing little boy, and as I told you tonight at dinner, someone I am so, so, so very proud of. 

 

This year, you took on the role of being the oldest of THREE little boys. It's not always easy, and there are times when I am certain you long for the days of having Mommy and Daddy all to yourself, but you truly are an amazing big brother. You just adore little Connor.

Through you I see my own parenting reflected back at me. The way you talk and coo and care for Connor is because you are watching me and Daddy and trying to figure out how to do it just right. And while in so many ways you want to be a grown-up who can hold and care for Connor, you are still very much a boy. A boy who is at times not fully aware of his own body and thus I sometimes fear for Connor's safety as you and Zachary both just want to smother him at times. You clearly just want to be physically close to him, and yet, you don't realize how much bigger you are than him. But any of your interactions with Connor, even those that make me nervous, all emanate from a place of profound love. I cannot wait to watch this relationship develop through the years. I see you very much being a kind, protective, and yes, sometimes bossy big brother. No matter what, I know Connor will look up to you and adore you, just as Zachary does. 

Yes, Zach adores you. You might not realize it, but he does. It is the reason why he drives you crazy at times. He wants to do everything you do and he wants you to do everything with him. He wants to play with your toys, he wants to know all about trains, he wants you to watch Cookie Monster with him, even when you'd rather be learning about Volcanoes and Bullet Trains, and Planets. Just as you look to Daddy and me for validation and praise, Zachary looks to you. When he finds something fun, funny, or exciting it is "Eye-an" he wants to share it with.  "Eye-an! Eye-an!" he calls. Looking to you to say, "Oh wow! That's cool!" or, "Yeah! Good job!" When he wants to tell a knock-knock joke you're first he goes to tell it. 

And yes, this experience of being a big brother to a toddler is at times overwhelming. Just yesterday when we were watching a video all about trains, Zach, every 5 seconds would say, "Eye-an, train! See! Train!" and he would keep saying it until you said, "Yeah! That's right, Zach! A train!" And every time, you did it. You didn't let him down. About midway through the video you said, "Mommy, its annoying to have to talk to Zach through the whole movie! I just want to watch it." And I said, "I know, Ryan. You don't have to keep talking, you can just listen." But you know what? You kept talking to Zach. You put his joy above your own. And moments like that, Ryan, are when I am most proud of you! When you show that you can be selfless and caring. That you can put others before yourself. That's when I stop and think, "Hey! We might be doing this whole parenting thing right after all." 

And Ryan, never in my life have I ever wanted to do anything more right than to be your Mommy. Your Nee-Nee has often said, "If you get it right with the first one, the rest will fall into place." And well, I think she's mostly right. I don't say that to put pressure on you. It's a pressure I place on myself. As I described above, you already have a great influence over your brothers, and so, I know that helping you to become the best person you possibly can be is not only the best thing I can do for you, but also when of the best things I can do for Zachary and Connor. And so, every day, I try my very, absolute best. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I yell (I hate when I yell). Sometimes I am not as patient as I should be. Sometimes I am easily distracted by your brothers, the telephone, or life in general and I don't give you the time you deserve. Sometimes when you and Zach both do something you shouldn't, I unfairly get more upset with you than with him. And for these, and many other mistakes I have made, I am sorry. But I also know I will continue to make mistakes despite my best efforts to learn from them. And I hope that in making mistakes and acknowledging them that I will help you learn the gift of asking for and giving forgiveness. You're getting to an age now where you clearly point out the mistakes I make or injustices I display. Please, please don't ever stop calling me out on these things. This is how I learn and how I will become a better Mommy. I promise, I will always, always try to do better. 

Speaking of always trying, I love watching you in school. You're in your second year of pre-school this year. Your teacher is Mrs. Scott-Kem and you just adore her. Because your school is a co-op, I get to go to school with you sometimes. I love how you are always engaged and eager. You listen and ask excellent follow-up questions. You are excited about all the projects you do and you play so nicely with the other kids there. You love school, and you love learning. You're beginning to read, and I hope you will grow to love reading as much as your Daddy and I do (even if I don't read nearly as often as I would like to ever since having little people to take care of). Reading opens up a whole new world of adventure and possibility and I can't wait to watch those doors open for you. 

You and your amazing teacher! 

Every year when I write this letter I always struggle to determine if I have really captured you in this moment in time. And tonight as I think about capturing you, I can't fully do that without talking about all the family members whom you adore. One of the best things about being a Mommy has been watching you (and Zachary and Connor) develop relationships with NeeNee and PopPop. And what a relationship you share. They adore you and you, them. Today they played "Cat In the Hat-I Can Do That" with you. And as I watched NeeNee get down on the floor to wiggle underneath the "trick-a-ma-stick" I thought about how very lucky you are. I watched you snuggle into the crook of PopPop's arm as you watched a video about Volcanoes. You are simply at ease with them. NeeNee and PopPop would do anything for you. And I think you know this. And not just in a self-serving "can I have a Popsicle or a piece of gum or whatever kind of treat you can think of" way. No, you deep down know you can depend on them and trust them, and the fact that you have that kind of relationship only serves to make you a better person and helps me be a better Mom! 

 

You love your Grandma and Grandpa fiercely too. You ask to call and talk  to them often and when they visited recently for a very brief period you truly mourned their absence when they were gone. The next day in a sad, quiet voice you said, "I miss Grandma and Grandpa." I know because they live far away in CT that they worried about being able to develop a special relationship with you and your brothers. When you were a teeny, tiny baby I told Grandma about my own Grandma who lived in Massachusetts and how I had such a special relationship with her exactly because she lived far away. It made the time with her so very, very special. I see a similar relationship developing between you and your grandparents and I couldn't be more pleased. 

You also just adore your cousins Caitlin and Julia. When we get together for family gatherings you always ask, "Will Caitlin and Julia be there?" And when they are, you are just overjoyed. You are the three musketeers (with a side-kick named Zach). You play together so nicely and I just love watching these relationships develop. I hope you will always love and depend on your cousins for fun and friendship and learn that you can turn to them when you need support, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. 

Your little cousin James is another favorite. He'll be soon joining the band of crazy kids at our family gatherings. Right now he sits patiently as you and Zach ooh and ahh over him. And while you can't yet play with him fully, it is clear how much you love his "little pumpkin head" as you so lovingly called him in his earliest days. 

Your Aunts and Uncles adore you as well. Auntie Cindy, Auntie Catharine, Uncle John and Uncle Mark all called you today. And every time you talked with them directly or listened to a voicemail from them you just beamed. Ryan, you are surrounded by so many people who love you so fully, for exactly who you are. Do not ever forget how loved you are! 

Ryan, you are such a special boy. You're confident and assertive. When you need something, like a cup or a straw when we go to ZuCoffee for Hot Chocolate, you go and ask for it yourself. You walk confidently up to the too tall for you counter and say, "Excuse me," until they hear you. You then politely ask for what you need, always saying please and thank you once you get it. During the Holidays when we would go to the train garden at Homestead Gardens you had no problem asking the Engineer to put a different train on the track. I taught you that it never hurts to ask because the worst thing they could say is "no." And yes, sometimes they did so no, and you always took this slight disappointment in stride, just saying, "oh, ok. Thanks." Never ever stop being assertive. Don't hesitate to stand up for yourself and for others. I see these qualities developing in you and I couldn't be more proud. 

And Ryan, as proud of you as I am, this isn't to say you are perfect. You are a little boy who is full of passion and desire to do things well. As such, you sometimes get easily frustrated when you can't do something "the right way" the first time. This makes you grouchy or irritable. You get appropriately (and sometimes unfairly) frustrated with Zachary. You don't always listen the first time you're told to do something, and sometimes you even ignore me on purpose. You're not perfect, and I would never expect you to be.  As I tell you often, even when you've made a mistake or a poor choice, you're always a good boy. And I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS love you. 

Ryan, today we celebrate your 5th birthday, and the day, 5 years ago when I became a Mommy. You, you my sweet boy, and you alone made me a Mommy. It is an honor and a privilege to be your Mommy. It is the most important role I will ever play in life. 

Never stop loving so fiercely, Ryan. Keep being the joyful, kind, energetic, thoughtful little boy that you are. Happy 5th birthday to my beautiful son. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love always, 

~Mama 

Proud

Dearest Ryan,

This blog has kind of been hijacked by your brother lately, huh? I mean, sure, you had the blog to yourself for three glorious years; No one to compete with. All the cute stories were about you. And then BAM! As of January nearly all the posts have been primarily focused on Zachary. Sorry about that, Buddy! But, I am very conscious of not wanting Zach to look back and say, "You posted all. the. time. when Ryan was little. How come you never blogged about me?" So, I am trying to give him equal time. But yes, as a result, you've been left in the dust a bit. And even worse, in my last post, I dared to  talk about how you've made mommy lose her patience a bit lately. And well, that's not really fair. Because overall, you're a pretty darn awesome kid!

So, I want to tell you how very, very proud Daddy and I are of you. You're a pretty typical three year-old in a lot of ways. You're fun and silly and crazy. Sometimes you don't listen so well because you're trying to figure out what parts of this complex world you can control and which parts are non-negotiable. You're figuring out such complexities pretty quickly.  But, you are also pretty exceptional too, and I want to tell you about that.

First of all, you're an amazing big brother. You look out for Zachary, and care about him in very special ways. For example, just tonight, Zach was sitting in his stroller, and you went to put your (filled with water) cup in his cup holder. You quickly realized he was about to grab it and spill it, so you pulled it away. But you also realized that all he wanted to do was play with it and that taking it away was going to upset him. So, as quickly as you could, you went and got an empty cup for him to play with and this made Zach as happy as a clam. No one told you to do this. You just did it on your own. You're thoughtful, and considerate, and moments like that just make me so darn proud of you!

You're also kind to people you don't even know. Recently we were at a birthday party for a friend. They had a HUGE bounce house set up in the backyard. Inside the bounce house was a basketball hoop and kids were playing with a variety of different balls. There was a little girl (maybe 2 years old) who had a ball. An older boy took her ball and she started to cry. You went up to her and immediately offered her yours. You did it on your own, simply because you saw that she was sad, and you knew you could do something that might help make it better. Never, ever stop caring about other people in this way.

You also are fiercely loyal and thoughtful towards the people in your life who you know and love. Recently we were eating some of the grape tomatoes that you've grown and picked with Pop-Pop. I was explaining to you that the tomatoes we are currently growing are going to be BIG tomatoes. You were excited about this and said, "The big red ones like we buy at the produce stand?!" And I said, "Yes, just like those!" You then said, "When they grow, we can bring some to Nee-Nee and Pop-Pop's. They like those kind!"

Don't get me wrong, you're a three year old, and you're appropriately selfish at times too. Like when you are playing trains and you just don't want Zach to mess them up. But overall, you are a thoughtful, generous, kind little boy, who more often than not makes an extra effort to show you care about other people. You offer bites of your ice cream or a lick of a delicious lollipop to Daddy or me. You give Zach a turn with toys you know he can't break. You draw pictures and almost always say, "This is for Zach/Daddy/Mama/Neenee/Poppop/Caitlin/Julia/etc."

You are also a very well behaved little boy. Whenever I take you out somewhere, I don't have to worry that you're going to do something you shouldn't. You always stay right with me when we're in parking lots. You follow directions knowing that when we're out and about, and its just Mommy, you, and Zach that my job is to keep you safe, and your job is to listen. I don't ever worry that you're going to throw a fit or embarrass us when we're out and about. (That's not to say that when we're home that you don't get bored and act out sometimes. Or, if we have a friend over that you're always willing to share. But most of the time you do!).

You give fierce hugs, and the sweetest little kisses. You don't snuggle as much as you used to when you were younger, but I sure cherish those moments now when you do. You love to read books and you wiggle yourself into the crook of my arm just so when we sit on the couch to read. You love to "help" with anything I am doing: cooking, cleaning, making the bed, feeding Zach, etc. You name it, you want to help. You're happy, joyful, easily excited, and a generally fun kid to be around. Your enthusiasm for life is contagious, and because of you, I find more joy in the simple things: excavators working, the moon out during the day, butterflies, bugs, "rockets," (aka: Airplanes that leave streaks in the sky), and cute baby animals.

Ryan James, you're not perfect. I would never expect you to be. I would never want you to be. But you're the perfect boy for our little family and I love you so, so much. Don't ever, ever, ever forget that!

Love always,

Mama

Zachary: 2 Months

Dear Zachary,

Today you turn two months old and you remain an easy going, great sleeping, happy little guy! In the past month you have become much more interactive with your world. You smile, you coo (I love your little coo sounds!), you try to reach toys on your activity mat, you kick your feet when you're excited, you look wide eyed when Daddy, Ryan, and I are eating. (I will never know how babies seem to innately know that food is food, but somehow they do. I remember being amazed by the same thing when Ryan was an itty, bitty, baby). You have a wide variety of little noises that you make now. You have your "Yay! I'm so happy!" noises, your, "Hey! Don't forget about me over here!" noises, your "OK, now I am really mad!" noises, and your, "Ow! My belly hurts!" noises. Though, unlike your brother, when you have a tummy ache it is usually very quickly remedied, and then you return to your happy, easy going self. I am very glad I decided to cut out dairy before you were even born, as I think it has made a huge difference for you!

Smiles for Daddy

You remain a joy of a little boy and we all love you so much! Ryan continues to be a very doting older brother and he truly looks out for you. Just yesterday, I was downstairs putting laundry in the washing machine and you were upstairs with Ryan (who was playing trains) in your bouncy seat. You spit up a little bit and Ryan went to wipe it up with the burp cloth I usually have lying nearby but there wasn't one there. So, he went to the drawer in the kitchen where we keep wash cloths, got one, came back and wiped your mouth, all on his own. When I came upstairs he said to me, "Mama, you didn't have a burp cloth for Zach, but its OK, because I got one for him and cleaned him up!" We couldn't be prouder of him!

Daddy and I still love snuggling you more than anything. And I especially love when you wake up in the morning. This is by far your most smiley part of the day. You just smile and smile and smile. Its as if you missed us immensely while you were sleeping and are so very glad to see us again. Seeing your smiley, cooing self is a GREAT way to start my day! I am such a very lucky Mama to have two such very special boys! I love you sooooo much!

Happy 2 month day, baby boy! I can't wait to see what lies ahead!

Love always,

~Mama

Chubba! 

Being 2 months old is tiring! 

(Says Zach: "By the way, my Aunties do ROCK!")

3 years

My Dearest Ryan,

Today you turned 3 years old. It is difficult to believe that 3 years have passed already since the day you entered our lives. I remember the day vividly, and as I currently sit here not only thinking of your own birth, but also anticipating your brother's arrival, I am especially conscious of the memories, feelings, and thoughts I had in the days after your birth. It was an overwhelming time. Our life was changed forever. At first it wasn't always easy to see the amazing ways in which life had changed. Caring for a newborn is really hard and it can be overwhelming. Much of the earliest days, though filled with immense love, gratitude and joy, they were also stressful! But tonight, as I tucked you in, your first night as a 3 year-old, I teared up as I thought about how truly wonderful being your Mama is!

I'm not saying every day is perfect, or that I'm the perfect Mom (far from it!), or that you're perfect. But the life we are living is truly wonderful. You are a wonderful little boy, who is so filled with joy and excitement, and you fill my life with more smiles and happiness than I ever could have imagined. These past 3 weeks, when I have been home with you, and only you, our time together has been magical. My heart melts multiple times each day when you, out of the blue, turn to me and say, "I looooove you, Mama!" I can't help but smile every time you get so excited about something that you jump up and down and flap your arms. (I need to stop worrying that your "flapping" is of concern, and rather, just take comfort in the fact that you are a very, very joyful, happy boy!) I love your "monkey hugs" when you wrap your arms and legs around me so tightly I can practically feel the love oozing out of you.

Ryan, there are so many things about you that make you such a special, wonderful boy. You are kind and caring. You are very sensitive, and when we read books, in which something sad happens to someone or something, you often cry. I remember the first time you cried at the end of "10 Little Lady Bugs" because you were so upset that the last Lady Bug was all alone. All the convincing in the world that she was eventually reunited with her friends could not calm the sadness you experienced on her behalf. You also get tearful when reading books that are sentimental, though not necessarily sad, such as "Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You." You not only show emotion when reading books, but also when interacting with other people. If someone you know is sad, you will quickly give them a hug and say, "Its OK! Its OK!" If you hear a baby crying you will ask, with a concerned look on your face, "Why is that baby sad?" This compassion and sensitivity you have for others is one of the things about you of which I am most proud. I hope you never lose this sensitivity, and never shy away from showing it openly.

You are also a very, very friendly boy. Just tonight, when we took you to Chick-Fil-A, you waved and said "Hi!" to people as we walked by, or to the kids at the table across from us. You quickly made friends with the other little boy in the play area and enjoyed a game of hide-and-seek. When one of the little girls was leaving the play area you gave her a hug and said, "Bye!" I love going places with you because you make people smile. At my recent OB appointments you are a big hit in the waiting room. You wave to people until they notice you and then you say, "Hi!" They smile immediately and say, "Hi" back and you generally engage in some kind of adorable conversation. You politely ask to see the babies who are with their moms. You know not to touch unless invited to touch them.

You're also a great conversationalist. When Dada comes home from work and we are eating dinner you almost always ask, "How was your day today, Dada?" You will sometimes ask, "What did you do?" You listen for the answers and ask appropriate follow-up questions.

You are confident and polite. If you want to ask a grown-up a question or tell them something, even a grown-up you don't know, you politely say, "Excuse me. Excuse me...." and then you ask your question or share your news. You did this at "My Gym" recently when the teacher was explaining that free play time was a good time to go potty or get a drink of water. You raised your hand, said "excuse me" and then politely explained, "Ms. Holly, we can't get a drink of water because you are out of cups." You will even ask strangers questions without hesitation. Again, in the OB's office you recently wanted to know one of the baby's names. You stood in front of the Mom, said, "Excuse me. What is the baby's name?" and then said "Hello Savannah!" to the cute baby girl in the car seat. You make me so proud and so happy on such a regular basis. People can't help but smile when they're around you. That is a gift. And it is one I hope you never stop sharing with the world!

Despite the fact that you talk almost CONSTANTLY you also find a lot of time to play and have fun. Lately you love to play with playdoh and you continue to love trucks, cars, fire engines, rockets, and helicopters. Your imagination has EXPLODED lately. The stories you act out involving cars stuck on mountains, cars that need rescuing because they caught on fire, rockets flying to the moon, or animals playing with their friends are fun to be a part of and a joy to listen to. You like to play with the Ipad (though we limit your time spent doing this!). For many months you especially loved the "Trucks" game in which you can change the tires on the cars with a flat tire. You're also now rather smitten with a few apps we have that involve building and launching rockets. The ease with which you quickly figure out the intricacies of each of these games never ceases to amaze me (though I also know this is normal for your generation of kiddos who is growing up with technology truly at your finger tips). You still absolutely LOVE to play outside. You may be happiest when playing at the playground, riding in your toy car with PopPop, or digging in the dirt with your many trucks. And yet, you love rainbows and playing with your new dollhouse. You affirm and defy gender stereotypes on a daily basis and I love it!

I could go on and on trying to capture the person you are in writing and I will never do you justice. You're amazing in my book, little Bubba! And one day, when you're much older, and you go back and read this letter, I hope that above all what will stand out is how very much I love you and am proud of you. You are a wonderful son. Being your Mama is the greatest privilege of my life!

As we await your little brother's arrival, I can't wait to watch you grow not only as a boy, and a son, but as a brother. You already show such concern and consideration for your baby bro. You ask, "Is Baby Zachary hungry, too?" when you're hungry. You wonder whether he will like the same activities you do. You give my belly hugs and say, "I love you Baby Zachary!" I have confidence you're going to be an amazing big brother. But I also know it will be challenging for you at times. But please, Ryan, do not ever forget how very much Mommy and Daddy love you and always will!

Happy 3rd Birthday Sweet Boy! I love you sooooooooo much!

Always,

Mama

Newborn

One Year

2 Years

3 Years

Easter 2012: In Pictures

Our Easter Festivities started the Thursday before when my Sister-in-law hosted an egg hunt for Ryan and his Maryland Cousins (since we would be out of town on actual Easter). Here are Ryan and Caitlin working together to find eggs. 

Julia was more about eating the treats than finding the eggs. And once she realized the green bunnies weren't that good she offered hers to Ryan. 

We arrived in CT on Friday. Saturday morning we went to an egg hunt at the Mini Golf Course where Matt worked as a High Schooler. There was much waiting involved. But we were with good friends so a good time was still had by all. Here is Ryan off to "find" some eggs. 

Ryan with our friends' adorable daughter, Natalie. Future prom date??? 

Good friends! 

Sunday morning Ryan was off to find his basket from the Easter Bunny. He was very excited until....

We made him get dressed in his Easter Outfit. Then he was less than happy. But he recovered quickly. 

Family photo before Church. 

 

I don't know why, but I really like this picture. 

When we got back from Church Ryan had a blast finding the eggs I hid for him in his grandparents' backyard. 

My little Oliver Twist. 

Ryan showing his Uncle Adam (no, that is not Matt, they just look a lot alike) his eggs. 

Ryan with his Grandparents. 

My handsome boys! 

Me and my baby! 

We ended Easter with dinner with Matt's extended family. Lisa helped Ryan get a cookie (or two). That was worthy of a kiss! :) 

Dancing for Janet and Vanessa. 

 We had a very festive and happy Easter. I hope you did, too!