Zachary Joseph: 2 Years

Dearest Zachary,

I sit here tonight trying to think of exactly how to capture the little ball of energy, attitude, and love that is you by simply using words. You see, words are not yet your expertise. And yet, there is soooo much about you that needs capturing at this stage in your life. I'll do my best.

Last night I lay in bed, thinking back two years ago, and I remembered being sooooo anxious to meet you. I was thrilled to be welcoming another little person into the world. And yet, I was also so worried. I was worried about how I would find room in my heart for TWO little people. I worried about how Ryan would adjust to having a baby brother. I worried about how Daddy and I would balance caring for two sweet boys, when we'd just started to feel like we'd mastered caring for one. (Little did we know we'd be welcoming a third little boy less than two years later!) I had so much worry in my heart that night, and it was all for naught. The moment you were born, you just fit perfectly into our life. My heart grew and was filled with more love than I could imagine! You continue to carve out your niche in our family every single day. You are your own little person; truly unique and special.

Zachary, you are full of passion and emotion. You feel strongly about so many things. As I mentioned above you are not yet a masterful talker. Don't get me wrong. You have LOTS of words and you learn new ones every day. You are putting two, and occasionally three words together now and every day you come up with new combinations. Just the other day you started saying, "No, no, Mommy," with such conviction and "I love you too!" The "too" is new and the way you say it just melts my heart. But, because words are not yet your strong point, you often get so darn frustrated when you can't communicate what it is you want to say or when we don't understand what you're saying. You sometimes get so frustrated you just throw yourself down on the ground and yell. You don't really thrown "tantrums" per say, but your little body just can't bare the frustration and you collapse into a puddle. I'm sorry we don't always understand you. But now, and as you get older, I promise I will always do everything I can to understand you and help you no matter what you're thinking, feeling, or experiencing.

You also get so frustrated when Ryan, your ever trying to be helpful big brother tries to talk for you. Sometimes he is able to figure out what you're saying when no one else can. But other times he thinks he knows what you're saying and he's wrong and this makes you so mad. I hate seeing you get so frustrated. But, I am also glad to see you always keep at it. It would be easy to just give up and not try to get your message across. But you don't. You always keep trying. You're very persistent, and we almost always figure it out. I hope this persistence will serve you well throughout life.

But it is not just frustration that you feel so strongly. Zachary, you are innately loving, caring and compassionate. You took to being a big brother immediately when Connor was born. You loved him from the moment you met him. When Connor cries, you get very worried. As long as you know someone is addressing his needs you're fine. But at night, sometimes when I am snuggling with you before bed Connor may start to cry. You always say, "Baby? eye-ing!" (crying). And I assure you that Daddy is taking care of him. When we're all downstairs, if Connor starts crying and I am unable to get to him immediately you always come running and say, "Mama! Baby! Eye-ing!" Sometimes you try to help him yourself. You'll try to put his passy back in or you'll wipe his mouth with a burp cloth if he spit up. You constantly check in on him, and are perpetually telling me if the baby is awake, "wake!" or asleep, "baby, night-night!" You are ever aware of your baby brother and it is heartwarming to see. You seem to have a far greater sensitivity to his needs than most kiddos your age do for their little siblings. I hope you remain a sensitive, caring, and compassionate boy always.

Its not just Baby Connor who is the beneficiary of your kindness. Ryan, too is a lucky boy to have you as his brother. Anytime I am getting you a snack, or on occasion, a treat, before I even have a chance to say anything you always say, "Eye-an?" As in, "Make sure you give me some for Ryan." And if I give you two of something, you always give the second one to Ryan, even if I intended them both for you. When Ryan is at preschool and we go to the park or to watch trucks at the construction site, you always ask about him. You say, "Eye-an? Home?" (When will Ryan be home?) Its like you know he's missing out on something fun and you want him to be a part of it. You love your big brother fiercely. You love playing with him and typically, if you and I start to play a game or read a book its not good enough to just have me involved. You want Ryan to be a part of it too. And he, being the great big brother that he is usually obliges you, even when he doesn't really want to. You're lucky boys to have each other and I hope the love you share never, ever fades.

I couldn't effectively capture you at this fun age of two without talking about what a Mama's boy you are. You've always been a pretty clingy little guy. You've always loved being held and snuggled, especially by me. But ever since Connor was born and I was away from home for three nights your "Mama's-boy-ness" has magnified times a thousand. You won't let Daddy tuck you in at night or give you breakfast in the morning and for a while you didn't want to let Daddy change your diaper or get you dressed. "No! Mommy!" is a phrase that probably broke Daddy's heart a few too many times in the past months. And I'm not gonna lie, I love you to PIECES but if you'd let Daddy be a little more involved, that would make life a lot easier. And yet, I know this phase is fleeting, and so, I'm trying at the same time to soak it in. Being a mommy is such an exercise in dichotomies and you seem to constantly put those dichotomies on display!

Speaking of Daddy, even though there are some things you refuse to let him do, there are others that he does best! You love to play the "Mouse" game where Daddy runs around chasing you with the little wind-up mouse that makes a funny noise. Often, when Daddy is at work you will go to find the mouse and say, "Daddy? Home?" You would never even consider asking me to play this game with you. It is Daddy's game and you know that. It is sacred territory on which I will not tread! You also love when Daddy does the "Up" game in which he sits you on top of his head and then flips you down. You love to go to the park with Daddy, to help put out the recycling, to put in the laundry, and to get the mail. These are all "Daddy activities," and you smile from ear to ear whenever you do them with him.

I have to give Daddy credit. He is tremendously patient with you, and tries really hard to find ways to connect with you and have special time with you despite your mommycentric behavior. You love your Daddy and Daddy loves you sooooo much!

Speaking of people who love you so much, I couldn't write this letter without talking about the special relationship you share with NeeNee and PopPop. You just adore them. As I write this letter, I realize that you, for such a little boy, have done an amazing job of creating unique relationships with many of the people in your life. What I am going to say next is going to make it sound like you love NeeNee and PopPop just for the things they give you. And that is not true at all. Anyone who sees you with them will clearly be able to tell that you just feel comfortable and safe in their presence. But you also look to them for gum (from NeeNee), popsicles (both), and granola bars (PopPop). They give into your every whim and you know it! They practically can't walk in the door to our house or you into theirs without you immediately asking for something! But, like I said, you feel comfortable and safe when you're with them, and this was most clear when I was in the hospital after Connor was born. You certainly weren't thrilled with being away from Mommy for those 3.5 days, but you held it together, and did great, and that is a testament to the relationship you share with NeeNee and "BopBop." You are one very, very, lucky boy.

I keep having to pause and think as I write this letter. I don't want to miss anything. I want to make sure I accurately capture the engaging, happy little boy that you are.

In addition to the many people I have talked about that you love, you also love trains (boy do you love trains!), Elmo, and Curious George. You love playing with my iPad, even though I don't let you do it very often. You love playing with trucks and reading books, especially ones about, you guessed it, trains. You love all things sweet (you get that from your Daddy) especially "pops" (lollipops), "dunks" (donuts), and cake.

You are able to play independently quite well. You will sit on the floor and look through books by yourself or push around your trucks and cars all by yourself without a care in the world as to whether anyone joins you. This is IMMENSELY helpful when I am getting dinner ready. And yet, at the same time, often, you will notice that I am making dinner and you then immediately want to help. Sometimes I can convince you to cook dinner along side me at your play kitchen. But sometimes that is not good enough. You want to be in on the action with me. And you're actually a pretty good helper! You follow directions very well, and if I didn't have to worry about you falling (off the chair you're standing on so you can see) you wouldn't be much of a hindrance at all.

You are rather physically adept. You climb and run and throw a ball like you've been doing it forever. You can nearly keep up with your big brother on the playground, and when you can't boy do you try! You have little to no fear, and while its fun to watch you play with reckless abandon, its also a little nerve wracking. But, as a Mommy to three boys I am learning to put my nerves aside and let you run, and jump, and play with all the energy you can muster.

Another word that comes to mind when trying to describe you is "imp." I just went and looked up its meaning, as its one of those words that I just know what it means, and yet couldn't describe it well. The definition is "a mischievous child." And if I had to add to that I would say, "a mischievous child who knows they are being mischievous." I remember one day when you, Ryan, and Daddy had gone on your weekly grocery shopping followed by Dunkin' Donuts trip. You had brought me back a Donut which was sitting in the bag on the counter in the kitchen. We had all been playing a game together in the family room when suddenly I realized you weren't with us anymore, and you were very quiet. Where did I find you? Sitting on the counter eating my donut. When I walked into the kitchen you just smiled the biggest smile with half a donut still hanging out of your mouth. There could simply be a picture of you next to the word "imp" in the dictionary!

Zachary, you are a kiddo that doesn't hold back. You express love and anger, and joy, and frustration with your whole self. You express it with words and action. You are fiercely loyal and devoted. You are kind and sensitive. You are playful and silly. You are my little boy, and I love you so very, very, very much. You are a wonderful son, brother, and grandson. In a few years, as you begin to truly develop relationships with your peers I know you will become an amazing friend as well. We are so glad you are a part of our family. We wouldn't be the Cam Fam without YOU!

Happy 2nd Birthday, sweet boy! I love you so!

Love always,

Mommy

Zachary: 10 Months

Dearest Zachary,

Today you turned 10 months old, and what an exciting 2 months it has been! Yes, I am so sorry! I never wrote your 9 month letter. I'm very sorry. But, I'll be sure to capture both months in this letter.

Starting with your 9th Month: You learned a lot of new "tricks" and we went on our first family vacation since you were born. At the beginning of this month you learned to pull up on things all by yourself. You mastered this and learned to pull up on anything and everything. At the end of September you started standing independently for a few seconds at a time and on September 25th you said "Dada!" for the first time. On September 27th (while on vacation at Great Wolf Lodge and Sky Top Lodge) your top tooth finally popped through, quickly followed by the second top one. This meant you could now grind your teeth. A sound that makes mommy's skin crawl! I remember Ryan doing this when he was teething and I hated it then too!

On October 2nd you clapped for the first time. And you just LOVE to clap. I tried not to be offended that you clapped first for Nee Nee and Pop Pop, despite the fact that I'd been trying to get you to do it for so long. But yeah, I was a little offended. What the heck, buddy!? (Just kidding...sorta!)  When you first started, and even now, you're so proud of yourself when you clap. Its the cutest thing! Now you notice when other people are clapping and you clap with them. You recently demonstrated this at Caitlin's Piano Recital. You also clap anytime someone says "Yay!" whether they are saying it for you or someone else.

On October 4th you FINALLY figured out how to crawl. Its funny though, even now you do it in a funny way with one knee off to the side. Its as if you don't really like having your knees on the ground. I suspect that if you could somehow manage to move as fast as you do with both knees off the ground that you would.  That sums up the big milestones from your 9th month.

 

Your 10th month started off with you getting a pretty nasty cold which eventually turned into your first ear infection. You were such a trooper at the Pediatrician's office! But man, you sure were a sad little guy when you weren't feeling well. It wasn't so much that you were grumpy or in a bad mood. You just weren't as smiley and all you wanted to do was snuggle. Which, I didn't really mind. Expect that I had to take care of Ryan too. It made me wish for an extra set of hands! But overall, you were still such a good little guy. I didn't notice exactly how impacted you were until you were finally back to your happy self, and then I could see what a difference there had been.

Despite your cold, you continued to develop. On November 6 you took 6 steps! Now that you've mastered crawling you still crawl more than you walk, but you take independent steps a couple times each day and I expect you'll be walking like a pro in no time.

On November 12th you had your "9 month Pediatrician appt" which clearly was more of a 10 month appt. Mommy's pretty stubborn and will only schedule your Well Child visits with our favorite doc, and sometimes getting on his schedule is a challenge. But he's worth it. At your appointment you weighed 20 lbs 5 oz, and were 29.5 inches long. You're about 49% on weight, 70% on height, and well, you're 99% on head circumference. Yes, you're a DeBoy. We have big heads! :)  Dr. Parmele declared you "Awesome!" and said everything is right on track. I couldn't agree more.

Zachary, you are such a curious, fun-loving little guy. You're mischievous, and friendly. You wave to strangers and just seem to enjoy being around people. You're independent but also a Mama's boy. Your mischievous nature is most evidenced when Daddy or I tell you "no" about something, usually about touching an electrical outlet. You walk over to it, and as you do, you turn your head, look at us, and smirk. Then as you reach to touch it, and we say, "No, no, no!" you laugh and touch it any way. Its cute now. But I'm resisting the urge to let you keep up this behavior. (Note: All the outlets in our house have child proof covers). Yes, I may have videotaped it the other day. But since documenting it, I've been more vigilant about teaching you that no means no!

As I said, you're also independent. One day recently we went outside, and you immediately looked to where the pinwheel had been in our front yard, only to discover that it had blown away. You paused for a second, and then proceeded to crawl up the sidewalk, 4 houses up, all by yourself to another house that you knew had a pinwheel. You crawled right up to that pinwheel, pulled it out of the ground, and smiled from ear to ear. You were very proud of yourself, and I have to say, so was I. You noticed a problem, and found a solution on your own!  May your independent, problem solving spirit never fade!

And yet, despite your independence, at the end of the day, there is no one's arms you'd rather be in than mine. I'm flattered, and I love the snuggle time we get, but we're also working to change this a bit. Daddy and I got into the habit that post bath (which is Daddy's special time with both his boys), Daddy did most of Ryan's bedtime routine, and I did most of yours. This resulted in the fact that you scream if anyone else tries to put you to sleep. We're making very slow progress, and hopefully by next month I can report that you will let Daddy put you to sleep without screaming for 15 minutes before settling in his arms. Though, the Holidays and travel may get in the way of the progress we hope to make.

But in the meantime, I am trying to savor your babyhood and remember that these moments of being your "everything" are fleeting. You won't curl up into a ball in my arms every night forever, and so, who am I to wish that you'd curl up in someones arms besides mine. Well, except for the fact that Daddy misses having that snuggle time with you, and he would really appreciate it if you would let him cuddle you a little more.

You're my sweet, funny, lovable, Bugga-boo, Monkey man, Zach-a-doo, Zach-a-Joe, and Snuggle bug. I love you more than words can say, and I always, always, always will. As one of the sweetest and saddest children's books ever written says, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

Love always,

Mama

Zachary: 4 Months

Dearest Zachary,

Today you turned 4 months old, and what a big boy you are! You are just such a joy! But you are starting to exert your strong will and personality more and more!

This month it was fun to just watch your littler personality develop. You smile so much now. You love to "fly" in the air (aka: Mommy holds you up above her head) and you just smile and squeal. You like looking at new faces but you smile widely at the ones that are familiar; especially Mommy, Daddy, and Ryan. I'm writing this a few days after your actual "month-day," but on May 16th you giggled for the first time. Ryan was making funny noises at you and when he got close to your face and said, "Baaaay-bah!!" you started smiling broadly and squealing. I knew you were building to a giggle so Daddy grabbed the video camera and we caught your very first true belly laugh on camera. It was very cute, and even cuter because it was your big brother who made you do it! I have a feeling that there are MANY more silly moments like that in our future!

On May 12th you were Baptised. A lot of family came in town from CT and you were soooo great all weekend. You were your usual, happy self, well, except for a few minutes during the Baptism ceremony. It was right at your nap time, and you were a bit cranky. But Mommy got you to fall asleep and then you were fine. (You really only cry when you're tired...well, at least for Mommy). But, at least at your Baptism the Deacon didn't go on and on during his homily as he did at Ryan's! You didn't cry when they poured the water on your head and you looked so handsome. Auntie Cindy and Uncle John were your very proud Godparents! I have no doubt they will play a very special and important role in your life!  (Uncle Adam was sick, so he didn't come, but he is one of your Godparents too).

At your 4 month pediatrician appointment we learned that you are VERY tall. You're exactly 50% for weight (15 lbs exactly) but you are 98% for height. You are now 27 inches long. You grew three inches in two months since your last appointment! Ryan was pretty long as a little guy too, and now he is very average. So, it will be interesting to see what ends up happening with you.


Remember how I said you are starting to exert your will? Well, just after your turned 3 months old you decided that bottles are for sissies. You started refusing to take a bottle for Nee-Nee and Pop-Pop when they watch you while Mommy works. This made for a VERY miserable few weeks for you and for Nee-Nee and Pop-Pop.  Fortunately, the past few times you've taken at least one bottle, though begrudgingly. Please, for Nee-Nee's, Pop-Pop's and Mommy's sake, PLEASE keep taking bottles, OK? Also, please trust that you're in VERY good hands when you're with Nee-Nee and Pop-Pop and that Mommy will come back. I am flattered that you miss me so much, but, I would be much happier if you would just relax and be your normal happy self when you're with them. They adore you, and I know you're in wonderful hands. I want you to know that, too!

You are a very strong little boy. You haven't quite rolled over yet, though you are so close! But your muscles are so strong that you can almost sit up by yourself. When someone is holding you and you want to see something, you twist and turn so you can see what you want to see. You love taking in the world around you. I can't wait to see what these coming months have in store for you!

Happy 4 Month-Day little guy!

Love always,

Mama

Zachary: 3 Months

Dearest Zachary,

Today you turned three months old. And while today was a very sad day for our country (some bad people hurt many innocent people in Boston, a city that is very special to your Daddy and me) I didn't want to let the day pass without posting your monthly letter. (Though your monthly pictures will have to be taken tomorrow, because I forgot to take them today!) Because no matter how many bad things happen in the world, it will never change the fact that you and your brother make your Daddy and me very, very, happy.

You continue to be such a happy little baby. You have really started to develop even more personality and more of an ability to interact with your world during the past month. You grab for toys while in your bouncy seat and you bring anything that you grab straight to your mouth where you instantly try to gnaw on it. Daddy is convinced you're teething, but that would be REALLY early. However, if you are teething, I'll take it since you're still a very happy little guy. I can only hope you remain this happy and easy going once you really do start teething!

You continue to smile and coo a lot. You have so many little sounds that you make and sometimes lately it seems that you're trying to be a part of the conversation. At dinner tonight we were joking with Ryan. I asked Ryan if he eat some of his meatballs (knowing he hadn't) and he kept saying, "Yup! I did Mama! I ate some!" all while smirking. We went back and forth, me saying, "Are you suuuuurre??" and Ryan saying, "Yup! I'm sure I ate them!" while giggling. You were in Daddy's lap and all of a sudden you said "Naaaa-aaahhh!" rather loudly with a big smile. As if you were in on the joke and calling B.S. on Ryan!

Speaking of dinner, you seem desperate to eat real food. Just like Ryan did when he was your age, you stare intently at us while we eat. You clearly seem to know what we're up to and you want in on the action. While I started solids with Ryan at 4 months I will wait a bit longer with you because Ryan's little belly wasn't quite ready and he went from being a not great sleeper to a terrible sleeper once he started real food. So, you'll have to wait a bit more...sorry buddy!

You're already quite the flirt and you use your smile and personality to your advantage. At dinner time you're usually pretty content to sit in your bouncy seat right near the table between Daddy and I. But you've realized that if you coo cutely, smile, and then whine just a little that Daddy or I (most often Daddy, because he just got home and missed you all day) will pick you up. You smile at almost anyone and love when people make funny noises at you, especially Uncle John. He just cracks you up!

Since your last letter you've started spending one day a week at Nee-Need and Pop-Pop's house while I go to work. It is going quite well! They are smitten with you too and thoroughly enjoy your sweet self. Although, last week you must have had a belly ache and you were breaking Nee-Nee's heart because nothing she did could make you feel better. But eventually you were able to fall asleep, and when you woke up, you were all smiles again.

You continue to be such an easy baby and everyone who meets you is amazed at just how low key you are. You are on more of a schedule than your brother ever was by this age. You're usually in bed by around 8:30 every night and you wake up around 7:30/8:00. You wake up once or twice a night to nurse and you continue to go right back to sleep.

In other developmental milestones you are trying so very hard to roll over, but you aren't quite there yet. Part of the reason for this is because you don't get nearly as much tummy time as your brother did. The reason for this is because as soon as we put you on the floor Ryan immediately wants to hug and "snuggle" (aka: smother) you. This irritates you and you get quickly upset which makes your time on the floor limited. But, we know you'll be rolling over before we know it, and in the blink of an eye you'll be running. You're already growing way too fast!

Zachary, you are such a perfect little addition to our family. We love you to pieces and we love watching you grow and develop every day. Happy 3 month-day!

Love always,

~Mama