Open for Swimming!

So, I had my HSG today, and we got the results of Matt's testing. And, the results are all good! My tubes are open and Matt's "guys" are plentiful and good swimmers! What a relief! They did see something on the HSG that could be a polyp. So, I have to have one more test, a hysterosonogram. This will tell them whether or not I have a polyp. If I do, it could be the reason I am not pregnant yet and then they will likely remove it (through a minor procedure involving light sedation). If there is not a polyp then we hope that there was some small blockage in my tubes that got swept out during the HSG today. Hopefully I will be able to schedule the hysterosonogram in the next day or two. If not, we will do it next cycle, in which case we will hope I get pregnant before then and find it unnecessary.

I am surprised at how relieved I am that my tubes are not blocked. If they were, it would have been because of my c-section (I have no other risk factors) and it wasn't until I found out that all was well that I let myself truly feel all that I had been thinking. I had been doubting the necessity of a c-section when Ryan was born and wondering if I should have pushed harder to avoid it. Obviously, at the time I knew it was the right decision for many reasons, and my doctors agreed. But now, I can move forward, and simultaneously look back without any doubt that it was indeed the right decision and have no regret.

I'll be sure to keep you all posted!

And in the meantime, again, there are a few thank yous that I must send out:

1) My parents for arriving at my house at 7:20 this morning to watch Ryan so I could make it to my 9:10 appointment. And for staying on throughout the morning to watch my nieces.

2) My wonderful sister-in-law, Catharine who drove me to the appointment so driving would be one less thing I had to worry about. We sat in horrible traffic and she focused on driving while I focused on calling the clinic with updates on our time of arrival. And having her to chat with made me far more calm than I otherwise would have been sitting in all that traffic.

3) Shady Grove for still doing the procedure despite my arrival at the clinic 20 minutes late. I was so worried they wouldn't do it! When they said they still could I grew tearful in gratitude. I would have completely understood if they had not. Once again, everyone was so kind and sensitive. From the woman at the billing desk to the nurse, to the radiologist.

4) Matt, for continuing to be my biggest support and the love of my life.

5) Space Shuttle Discovery's transport crew for flying over 495 just as Catharine and I got on the beltway to head home. It was an exciting way to end an otherwise stressful morning! This was a pretty spectacular site:

Credit: The Washington Post. Also, we were no where near this close. But we could still clearly see it (and the  much smaller plane that trailed it) from our view on 495. It was pretty neat!

Again, thanks for reading!

And So, We Will Try Again....

I am really trying hard not to focus on the negative. But man, it sure is overwhelming to feel like your body is betraying you every single month! I have such compassion for woman who go through this for years and years. It is truly painful. I was so hopeful this month, for so many reasons, and it didn't happen again.

But on the bright side, I called and checked with my insurance, and at the very least a consultation with a reproductive endocrinologist will be covered at this point. So, we have an appointment on March 29th. It is possible that some testing (if needed) could be covered as well. The only thing our insurance company puts a clear timeline on regarding fertility issues are the actual fertility treatments (IUI, IVF, etc). To pursue those you have to have been trying for a year. But, I sure hope we don't have to go down that road. Though, if we do, I feel incredibly lucky. Our insurance covers them at 100% as long as it is in network. We are truly fortunate that the company Matt works for has such AMAZING coverage.

We will have been trying for 8 months on April 1st (not that I'm counting! ;) Let's hope we don't get to 9......

Thank you!

I owe a thank you to a lot of people! After my post yesterday so many people e-mailed, or posted comments on my facebook page, and one friend from grad school, who I haven't been in touch with except via facebook and occasional e-mail since we graduated even tracked down my number via the web, and called to say, "I'm here. I've been where you are before. I will listen if you'll let me." Other than being slightly freaked out by the stalkerish-ness of it (JUST KIDDING, KM!) I was touched beyong belief. I had a dear cousin (who shall remain nameless) e-mail me a NEJM article that he and his wife found helpful when they were in their baby making days. So, as much as I said, "No one talks about it!" I was thrilled to find so many people in my life who are more than willing to talk about it. So, thank you!

I also made note of a comment left on facebook in which someone suggested that one of the reasons people may not talk about it is because they don't want people constantly asking, "So, are you pregnant, yet?" And I can completely understand that! That would be painful. I know during the past 7 months, some people closest to me have already known of our struggles. And the occasional "Thinking of you!" or "Keep me posted when you are ready to share," or "You know I'm here to talk if you need to," have been extremely appreciated and not at all painful to hear. It is nice to know that people are thinking of you and sending "babydust" (as a blog commenter/so thoughtful friend said).

So, here's to lots and lots and lots of BABYDUST for Matt and me, and anyone else out there who is trying for a baby.

Stayed tuned early next week for a post on my first experience with acupuncture.

(Hey, if nothing else comes of this experience, at least I will have something to keep me motivated to blog. The community of well wishers has already been very comforting. Thanks again!)